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Lexington, Ky. (December 12, 2022) – How do you define family?
Just reading or saying the word brings different meanings and different emotions.
The textbook definition says that a family is a group of people who are biologically living together under one roof. But often, people believe that family can be anything including love.
For Lauren Lynch, starting a family was the moment she dreamed about, envisioned and planned for.
But as the painful saying goes, “Life doesn’t always go according to plan.”
“We had some struggles with fertility,” Lynch said.
Lynch and her husband Josh — who was adopted by her grandparents when he was two years old — decided to take a leap of faith.
“We both have tremendous faith in God, and it felt right that adoption was the way to build our family,” Lynch said.
Every adoption story is unique. It can be an exciting experience, but also an emotional one. While they never doubted their decision to adopt domestically, the process was not without its challenges.
“In the beginning, there’s a flurry of activity—a huge amount of paperwork to sort through.” Once that’s done, all that’s left to do is wait,” Lynch explained.
The wait was anxious.
As the days and weeks began to drag on, Lynch recalls moments of uncertainty. “In the beginning, there is a lot going on, then it slows down and stops. We had to be patient,” she said. “I couldn’t help but feel anxious about when that would happen.”
Finally, it happened.
Lauren and Josh were in the delivery room in 2013 when their daughter was born.
Five years later, an adoption would add one more to their family. In 2018, they became a family of four with the addition of their son.
“I love being a mother to my children,” Lynch said. “They’re amazing and incredibly different from each other, and they make every day an adventure—even the hard days.”
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When Lynch made the decision to adopt, her personal and professional life became meaningfully intertwined.
As the Adoption Support Kentucky (ASK) coordinator in the College of Social Work (CoSW) at the University of Kentucky, Lynch knows all too well, adoptive parents often face burdensome legal processes, complicated youth histories and feelings of isolation.
ASK is an award-winning program serving foster and adoptive parents through expert peer-led support groups for nearly two decades. In-person and virtual discussions are a safe space for caregivers across the Commonwealth to share their experiences without fear of judgement. In addition, the programming offers specialized training provided by peer facilitators, who are also adoptive parents.
For many people, including Lynch, access to these support services is critical.
“When you’re part of an adoptive family, a lot of hard conversations are necessary for your children’s physical, mental and emotional well-being. We’re also a transracial adoptive family, which adds a layer of complexity,” she said. “Josh and I are constantly looking for resources to help us have these conversations, as well as help others to support our family. Making sure we celebrate our differences. And being intentional about encouraging diversity in our lives — and in our children’s lives — is so important.”
For the Lynch family, the adoption was finalized years ago. But being an adoptive parent is a constant journey that comes with ups and downs.
Lynch feels grateful to have gained a second family through college — a support system to lean on and learn from.
“There’s something incredibly important about knowing another family with the same dynamics as your own,” she said. “Your own family and non-adoptive parent friends just can’t provide the care and support you can give each other, because they don’t have the same life experiences. ASK support groups and trainings help adoptive parents find and make those important connections. provides a location.”
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How do you define family?
For Lynch, becoming a parent changed her world, but becoming an adoptive parent changed how she sees the world — and family.
“I have worked hard to develop skills that I did not have before. I have spent time thinking about my children’s future and how I would prepare them as a white mother. I have had to give myself and others grace, but also learn when to speak up and advocate for my children. I’ve had difficult conversations with people I love and have had to reevaluate those people in our lives,” she said. “But I can say with complete confidence – being an adoptive parent has been the greatest privilege of my life. It has made me a better person, a lifelong learner and encouraged me to be the best version of myself, so that I can give my children the best possible experience.”
More information about ASK
ASK support groups are available to any foster, adoptive, and relative/fictive-relative caregiver in Kentucky. Specific support groups for LGBTQ+ and transracials are also available. Additionally, through the ASK-Virtual Interaction Program (ASK-VIP), there are a series of online support groups and trainings.
You can find more information about ASK here, and you can find more information about adoption in Kentucky here.
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