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The BBC decided to end on Thanksgiving (or Thursday as they call it in the UK), so writing this recap got me thinking a lot about tradition and rigor. How much do we enjoy the stuff mom used to make like chicken, stuffing, green bean casserole, and mac and cheese, and how much do we resent the same old meals served year after year without any variation?
I have to admit, a Drag race Completer, I’m starting to get sick of my favorite festival of the year. Maybe it’s just that Drag race The cycle, with all its countries and various iterations constantly airing, has gotten pretty bad. We don’t have time to miss it. If you ate Thanksgiving dinner every night of the year, it wouldn’t be special, and I think we’re getting to that point with the show in general.
As for this finale, it’s more choreographed than your mom printing out her Excel spreadsheet with the times to put each dish in the oven. It’s always the same: they all go to be interviewed by Roo and Michelle; They have to write the lyrics for the verse in the new RuPaul single; They learn the choreography and we’re worried because at least one person is bad at it; They sit around in the workroom talking about their highlights of the season and how everyone is still there even if they don’t get a badge; They do their number with some backup dancers and everyone claps; The judging panel gives them only positive criticism, even if some things clearly suck; All the queens talk to the picture of their little ones and we cry and cry and cry; And then the winner is crowned.
That’s this whole episode. That’s the recap. That’s everyone’s recap Drag race The finale and I’m torn. I know that reality television is best when there is a ritual. RuPaul says the same thing at the same time every episode (“Bring back my girls,” “Don’t do that shit,” “I’ve made my decision,” etc.) and I love it, I really do. But when we have heard these things, seen these things, many times we have stopped responding to them, that they become like white noise?
Admittedly this episode had a few tweaks. RuPaul’s single was not a single but a “mega-mix” of four of his most popular tracks. See, there are many versions of Drag race Which RuPaul can’t keep up with the music industrial complex and has to dive into the archives. This year the queens didn’t get a chance to talk to the eliminated queens during Untucked, instead they talked to the last three winners. Drag Race UK. I didn’t like this for a few reasons, the biggest of which was Lawrence Cheney sprawled on her throne like she was a straight up transit worker on the New York City subway. The reigning queens have less of a relationship (at least as far as viewers perceive) with the finalists than the eliminated contestants. I’d rather they all show up and air their grievances and question the rest of the queens instead of just standing on the runway while they do their big numbers like they’re some kind of living mannequin in a silly holiday window display.
It’s hard for me to criticize this season because, honestly, I love the other four queens and I think they all deserve winners. But, let’s be honest, we spent an hour waiting for Black Peppa and JB, the drag artist formerly known as Johnber’s Blonde, to come out and knowing that neither of them had any shots. JB didn’t even have a badge, and they were giving them out like conservatives think Planned Parenthood does abortions. As for Black Peppa, she boasted that she “sent a quarter of the cast home.” Uh, yeah. She could only say that because she was at the bottom four times. She didn’t send them home, she barely put them away. What she’s basically saying is, “I was a little less bad than the other four queens in this competition.”
Maybe there should be a three strikes policy for the bottom — if you’re down there your third time, you probably don’t deserve to stay. And if badges don’t count for anything, why do we give them out in the first place? maybe Drag race Need an overhauled stem to turn the stern? Maybe they should start doing every season like they do an all-winner season, where no one gets eliminated and you earn points. That way we know who the finalists are, and week one won’t send home a great queen, and consistently middling performances won’t result in someone making it to the finale when the other girls were more deserving. Ever since the queens first walked into the workroom, it was always Danny or Cheddar, so why did we spend 10 hours watching this and countless hours on Twitter and telling our friends about it? What if we knew how it would all end? To hear Michelle’s horrible jokes about Paula Abdul Vibology (Which is the forgotten gem, mind you)?
Maybe loving these queens and spending time with them is enough? They all let out two major leaks in the finale. For the performance, I have to give it to Cheddar, dressed in Ziggy Stardust-era David Bowie finery with his jumpsuit and red lightning bolt on his head. Talented. The theme seems to be sci-fi, but Danny, in a multicolored short dress with big bird feathers, is giving it more ’70s. Valley of the Dolls than Faye Ray. Peppa looks like an Atlantean princess in a blue and gold bodysuit that shows off every amazing contour of her body. JB looks almost exactly like the original outfit for Dazzler, and I don’t know if I could ever give anyone a bigger compliment than that.
When it comes to their “Final Eleganza” on the main stage, I have to give it to Danny, with his signature white face and wig so extraordinary I’d swear it was CGI or a Snapchat filter or something. As Michelle points out, it goes right into her makeup and blends into her face in such a way that it looks like she has the head of a giant alien. This dress — black velvet with elaborate gold wings on the front and back — is classy, but it’s everything to me from the massive necklace. She is a very deserving winner.
Cheddar is behind him looking like the dog alien that Ripley kills in almost every movie. He was Cheddar’s character from the start and he played it brilliantly. It’s even brighter when he starts shedding layer after layer of construction during a lip sync. Not only does it look amazing, it’s obviously intricate and took years to make. We should all wonder.
Also marvel at Peppa, in a black and white dress she fashioned from a motorcycle jacket and an amazing white dreadlock wig that makes her look like a Wakanda elder. She is stunning. She looked the best. Same with JB, a Celtic warrior goddess with a giant golden shield (or the world’s largest cocktail ring) and a lumpy golden bodysuit that makes her look like the woman who posed for the original Amy statue. Roo should know exactly what that looks like now.
They are all great. I love them all. Some were better than others, yes, but it’s never the queens that detract from the show, it’s the show itself. Is it stuck in a rut or is it too busy celebrating its own traditions, basking in things people love? This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful that we have a drag community filled with so many great and willing contestants that we get so much. Drag race As we want. But after another feast, the thought of doing it all over again makes me a little sick to my stomach.
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